{"id":38513,"date":"2022-09-29T14:30:56","date_gmt":"2022-09-29T18:30:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.parkinson.ca\/?p=38513"},"modified":"2022-09-29T14:30:56","modified_gmt":"2022-09-29T18:30:56","slug":"brock-carltons-story-part-6-parkinsons-takes-and-it-gives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archiveparkinson.thedev.ca\/fr\/brock-carltons-story-part-6-parkinsons-takes-and-it-gives\/","title":{"rendered":"Brock Carlton’s story part 6: Parkinson\u2019s takes, and it gives"},"content":{"rendered":"

Brock Carlton, a member of the Parkinson Advisory Council<\/a>, has contributed a series of six stories encapsulating his experience with adjusting to life with Parkinson\u2019s.<\/p>\n

As the last of the series, story six describes Brock\u2019s appreciation for how Parkinson\u2019s has given him opportunities to live in the present moment and find deep fulfillment in connecting with others, while still grieving the future he thought he would have.<\/p>\n

Written from the snow-covered slopes of Gatineau Park during a late-winter ski trip in 2022, Brock was inspired to share. Whether you\u2019re an avid skier or prefer staying indoors, if you\u2019d like to share your story, too, get in touch by emailing communications@parkinson.ca<\/a> or commenting below.<\/p>\n

First, it takes<\/h3>\n

I am sitting in a back-country ski lodge, surrounded by peaks and glaciers, trading end-of-day ski stories with others staying at this lodge. Their stories are of this day, mine are of the past. I cannot ski the steep slopes and deep powder anymore.<\/p>\n

It slowly dawns on me that most of these people are in their late 60s-70s. A sadness comes over me. Their current reality was my presumed future: robust, physically capable and continuing to enjoy life-long pleasures like downhill and Nordic skiing, whitewater canoeing, cycling and hiking\u2026<\/p>\n

Parkinson\u2019s has taken away the hope of following that path. The fluid athleticism which I brought to my physicality, now undercut by my lack of dopamine production, is no longer a certainty. This is not the decline I expected from aging. It is a cliff; a disconnect between my brain and my muscles. Muscle memory for complex tasks seems gone. I cannot create the image in my mind of some physical tasks, and then replicate those images in muscle movement. Parkinson’s leaves a blank space in my mind.<\/p>\n

The take-aways are growing<\/h3>\n

Parkinson\u2019s has taken away my sleep. I wake up several times in the night to pee, to untangle myself from bed sheets and pajamas, or to roll over awkwardly. Each night, I get up to stretch my legs and lower back. This seems to help diminish the potential for insomnia. I get up slowly, easing into each day uncomfortably.<\/p>\n

Ever hear of Venngo? People around me have talked me into signing up. While trying to register, I made a mistake while typing in my email so I didn’t receive a \u201cverification code.\u201d I call their helpline but my weakening voice has them repeatedly saying, \u201cI can\u2019t hear you,\u201d \u201ccan you repeat that,\u201d and \u201cI missed the first few words.\u201d My voice, my sleep, my handwriting and everything in between, the list of take-aways grows over time, and with it grows a deepening sadness, victimhood<\/a> and depression.<\/p>\n

Parkinson\u2019s can give opportunity in return<\/h3>\n

As the end-of-ski-day storytelling continues, I push away the sadness and replace it with gratitude. I did these things too. I know their feelings of accomplishment and fatigue. I am grateful for having had these experiences and grateful for being able to relate to the joy captured in their stories. Gratitude opens the door to empathy and meeting people where they are. I strive to listen differently, with less judgment and more awareness of other\u2019s realities.<\/p>\n

With my diagnosis, I can relate to their limitations and challenges in new ways. I more deliberately search for the common bond of humanity between us. Because of Parkinson\u2019s, I have grown more comfortable with my own vulnerability, not hiding it, but exposing it as part of me.<\/p>\n

Parkinson\u2019s brings focus to the present: On health, sleep, diet and deliberate, regular and robust exercise. Parkinson\u2019s challenges me to reconsider what my legacy will be, no longer expecting to be in my 80s leaving a legacy of action – of doing. My legacy now is how I connect with people.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s be honest, I am not sitting on a mountain top of empathy, compassion, calm and acceptance. I hurt. Much of what Parkinson\u2019s gives is challenging to attain. I strive to rise to this challenge. But I am not there yet\u2026 only aware of the gifts Parkinson\u2019s presents. I am grateful that Parkinson’s is showing me this pathway. I need now to rise to the challenge.<\/p>\n

Never alone in Parkinson\u2019s<\/h3>\n

If you or someone you know is struggling to reconcile what the future looks like after receiving a Parkinson\u2019s diagnosis, you are not alone. Parkinson Canada can connect you with support groups<\/a> to help you discover that while the future may look different, a long life of connection and fulfillment is still possible.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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